I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept waking up, and finally at 3:30am I woke up and really couldn’t go back to sleep. I tried for a while, but too many thoughts were whirling around on that hamster wheel I call my brain. Finally at 4:50am I emailed my T and said, “I don’t think my session went very well yesterday – just wondering what you thought.” I guess somehow that made me feel better because I was able to fall asleep until my alarm went off at 6:30am.
J emailed me back this morning and said he thought the session went well because “We discussed the things that you felt were important. We came up with a behavioral plan (or at least a next step) in dealing with your son and we were able to connect how the three topics were related.” Then he sent another email a couple of minutes later asking, “Why do you think it did not go well?”
I thought about what to say for a while, and responded, “That’s true, we did do those things. The discussion about my son went well I thought. It was the other two things. Maybe my expectations are too high. I don’t feel like you really got it, but that’s just my inability to communicate well I think. Do you think that is why I feel that no one understands me, because I don’t communicate well?”
Ron made an interesting comment on yesterday’s post that J’s personality type just can’t understand my personality type. It makes sense, but it seems such a severe generalization. How can a full 1/16 of the population of earth totally not understand another 1/16 of the population?
I’m thinking of my mother’s type (ESTJ) vs my type (INFJ). We are so incredibly different. However, when I read about her type and how I can best communicate with her and why she acts the way she does I felt that I understood her so much better. Can’t we move past our personality types and come to understand the others? I would think that a psychologist especially would be able to do this. But maybe due to the personality differences the communication issues become even a greater hurdle.
Speaking of my mother, I had an interesting insight the other day. My mother has high expectations and sets high standards for other people, and when they don’t meet her expectations she thinks there is something wrong with them.
I also have high expectations and set high standards for other people, but when they don’t meet my expectations I think there is something wrong with me.
I’m surprised that my mother and I can get along at all, given our differences. I guess I should give us both some credit for working hard to have a good relationship.