Apparently my problem with therapy is that I don’t think the therapist and the client have a relationship. And the key to successful therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the client (this pertains to the type of therapy I have been looking for, of course there are other types of therapy where the relationship is not the key). Because the therapist will respond in different ways than the client’s other relationship people have responded in the past, and that will produce a change in the client, so that even if the other relationship people in the client’s life continue to give those same responses as they have in the past, the client has developed something inside of her that enables those responses to not bother her anymore. And she has developed this thing inside of her because the therapist consistently gives more positive responses than the other people in the client’s life, or the client’s past life.
In my case, I don’t believe anything the therapist says about me, because it is her job (his or her, I will just use the feminine), and I pay her, and she has to respond positively and have unconditional positive regard because that is what a therapist does. Even if the therapist says it is not fake, that part of her job is “attunement” and she feels the feelings of the client. Which she claims is ok, and she would only need supervision if those feelings that she has interfere in the therapy with the client. And apparently feeling the feelings of the clients all day long is not overwhelming to her because she has good self care.
So it all boils down to the “relationship” which I do not think is what the situation is between a therapist and a client. I think it is more of a business arrangement, or a working alliance. Like an accountant, but instead of discussing numbers, we discuss emotions. That doesn’t make this a “relationship”.
So maybe that is why I never change, and maybe therapy just isn’t for me.