Yesterday I ran in a race. It was a 5K and my goal was to run it in under 30 minutes, but over the last couple weeks I was thinking I would just run it for fun, since I developed shin splints. I’ve really been taking care of my injury, cutting back on frequency of runs and duration of runs, icing, stretching, exercises, physical therapy. I didn’t want to push too hard and make this worse because I have a 10K I’m running on November 1st.
But this week I was feeling pretty good and when I got to the race I decided I would go for it. Maybe I was deluding myself about forgetting about my goal, I’m way too competitive for that. So I tried to run the race in under 30, but the first mile really screwed me up. There were 2700 people running and I lined up too far to the back of the pack. I had a hard time getting around people for the first mile, and I finished in 10:14, which I knew was a setback. I ran the next two miles much faster, but it wasn’t enough, I finished in 30:16. I did cut 2 minutes off of my 5K time, which isn’t too shabby, but I was disappointed about the 17 seconds. I know it’s not a big deal in the larger picture, but it is what it is. (I know that a 30 minute 5K is no big deal for most people, but hey, I’m old and I’m slow!)
My husband said I did great and 17 seconds is no big deal. I finished 25th in my age group out of 117, and that’s a good thing! Then my mother called me in the afternoon to find out how I did in my “marathon.” She said it was broadcast on TV and she was looking for me, but didn’t see me. I explained to her that I was not running a marathon, but a 5K. I told her a 5K is only three miles. Her response, “Oh, well I guess you had no trouble with that.” Yeah, mom, no trouble at all. Sorry to disappoint you that I didn’t run the marathon. Then I saw that my sister posted on her facebook that I was running a marathon. Sheesh!
I’m reading a book in which the main character is an overeater. She loves cupcakes and sometimes buys 6 or 7 or them at once and eats them. I also love cupcakes, who doesn’t love cupcakes? They are cute and little and have a high ratio of frosting to cake. What’s not to love? So yesterday afternoon I was craving a cupcake. I went to the grocery store for some things and stopped at the cupcake section in the bakery. Yum, they looked good. You can’t buy one, you have to buy six. My kids love them and would have enjoyed them. But I thought, am I buying them for my kids, or to see if I can resist them if they are sitting on my kitchen counter. Am I doing this to punish myself for not meeting my goal in the race? Because if so, that is a bad reason to buy cupcakes and I’m not going to do it.
But if I want a cupcake I should be able to eat a cupcake, right? I’m not a binge eater, it’s not like I would ever eat all six. Today my daughter and I went to the mall and there is a new shop that sells frozen tart yogurt and cupcakes. I told my daughter I’ve been craving a cupcake and she said they are really good and I should get one. I told her I didn’t think I wanted one, they have too many calories. She said I could get one and eat one half today and one half tomorrow. Wow, what a good idea. But, guess what? I didn’t get one. I can’t bring myself to eat a cupcake. She had a cupcake, topped with frozen yogurt, topped with granola. And she looked like she enjoyed every bite of it. I did get some frozen yogurt – only because it’s the tart kind. And there were 6 raspberries on top. I liked it, but it wasn’t a cupcake.
Why can’t I eat a cupcake if I want a cupcake?
Tags: daughter, food, mother, running, sister
October 11th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Well done on the 5K race! Since you lined up in the back of the pack, technically, you should shave a minute off because it would have taken you a while to actually cross the start line after the official time started.
October 11th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Cool polar is right. Assuming you had a chip on (which I’m pretty sure you did, right?), your official time would be counted as the time you stepped on the mat at the start line (however many seconds after the gun) until the moment you stepped on the mat at the finish line.
That being said, in terms of dealing with crowds at the beginning of the race, you’re better to start by going slightly slower for the first 1/4 – 1/2 mile at which point the crowd disperses and then making up for it as the race goes on.
October 12th, 2009 at 6:53 am
Thanks for trying CP and Rach, but 30:16 was my chip time. The time from the start line to the finish line. I also had on my Garmin Forerunner and it timed me at 30:17. My gun time was 31:56.
The crowd didn’t disperse until after the whole first mile – there were 2700 people running and it was on city streets which weren’t too wide. No lawns on the side to run on! I did get faster and faster as the race went on, but it couldn’t make up for the first mile. Oh well, I learned my lesson for next time!
October 12th, 2009 at 7:48 am
You are so incredibly hard on yourself.
October 12th, 2009 at 8:34 am
Harriet, this made me smile because I can SO identify with having “cupcake issues”. Except mine are slightly different. I grew up with an older brother who was better at everything and used to bully me and call me horrible names. Actually they were pretty funny names and one of them was “Cupcake”. I’m not sure how I got that name (I was probably already 20 years old by that time?) but there you have it. As for me, I would have bought all six cupcakes and the other one at the store (with all the frozen yogurt) and then felt guilty afterwards. I would have spaced the eating of them over a few days though so the binge-eating wouldnn’t have been so bad. My motto is: If you want a cupcake, have a cupcake (or at least a good substitute)!
October 12th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Oh, and well done on the race! I’m sure you’re disappointed re the 17 seconds but it gives you something to aim at next time. And I’m guessing the good part you didn’t mention is that the shin splints weren’t so bad? As for the marathon part, ah, families can be such dummies sometimes
October 12th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Harriet -
You are hard on yourself – good job on the 5K. Have you always been a runner. I’m thinking of trying a 10K for Thanksgiving – mostly walking. I used to run, but have not found alot of time for exercise of late. As the menopause middle expands, I need to get back out there.
Be good to yourself
OLJ
October 12th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Laura – I know. Any suggestions for that?
Pete – I’m sorry they called you Cupcake. It is a cute nickname though, isn’t it? I like your motto, wish it was mine! And yes, the shin splints weren’t so bad. I feel pretty good about it, I’m taking care of myself and not overdoing it.
OLJ – Yes, hard on myself! We all agree about that. I haven’t always been a runner, I used to hate running. A couple years ago I started walking for fitness, then did the Couch to 5K program, doubled the length of it because it was hard, and have been running for about a year. Finding time for everything is difficult. I usually make the time for things I’m obsessive about, which lately is food and exercise. Everything else gets pushed aside. I know what you mean about the menopause middle – I have the pre-menopause middle!
October 12th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Congrats on your time! That is AWESOME!
Have your cupcake. Tell it that it isn’t more important than you. And, enjoy it. While telling yourself that you are amazing.
October 12th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Occasionally (1x/month or so) I’ll go into a cafe and get a mini-cupcake, maybe 1/3 the size of a regular, and it’s tasty. That might be just the thing for you if you can find them where you are. Else if that’s not possible, maybe you can split one with someone? If I had six, I would probably have to eat them, at this moment I have two chocolate cookies in the freezer that I’m not hungry for, but am hyper-aware of them being there. Supermarket cupcakes are likely made with trans-fat, if that matters to you.
October 12th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Congrats on cutting 2 mins of of your time which I think is a great accomplishment. I think I would have rewarded myself with a cupcake especially if they were small.
October 14th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Harriet -
Well I haven’t been good about starting my training regimen for the Thanksgiving 10K. I need some motivation – other than the scales.
I was already well into menopause a couple of years ago (just turned 50) and then had a hysterectomy with ovaries out 1.5 years ago. The complete cessation of estrogen really through me – I think I am close to my old self now – although I still have a lot of hot flashes. And weight is definitely harder to maintain.
Take care,
OLJ
October 14th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
imaginenamaste – thank you! I’m planning on having a cupcake. I want to get a really good one. Don’t want to waste the calories on a grocery store cupcake, you know?
julie – great idea about the mini cupcake. I’ll have to find one. Yeah, I know about the trans fat. I guess if I have some every once in a while it’s not bad. I mean, I grew up on trans fat and I’m still here! I don’t eat it anymore though.
lostinamaze – thanks for the support, I appreciate it!
OLJ – Maybe buy some new running clothes. That’s always a great motivator for me. Are you in a running group, that helps too. I can be your virtual running partner! Sounds awful about the sudden menopause, that happened to me in a less extreme way when I had to suddenly go off birth control pills a few years ago. I had terrible hot flashes and depression. Luckily I was able to go back on them, and I still am. I’m afraid to go off them now! I hate the hot flashes, they are horrible.
October 19th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Wow – looking back at my previous message – did I really say “really through me”? I meant THREW
Yes – I really felt like I was going crazy – moody, spacey, forgetful. I am much better now.
I’m not sure if I will ever run again – but I can walk, so maybe I will take you up on being a partner in the future
I finished my socks! yea! They look nice.
OLJ
October 20th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
OLJ – I didn’t even notice! Maybe it’s a freudian slip – the change really went through you. Physically as well as emotionally.
So let me know if you want to be my virtual walking pal. I think I might go walking tomorrow. And congrats on finishing the socks! I love finishing things, although it rarely happens. I start more things than I finish.