I made the best drink today. I used the Tazo Vanilla Rooibos chai latte concentrate (bought it at Safeway) and combined it in equal amounts with Vanilla Soy Milk (Silk brand). Heated it in a mug in the microwave. Then the ultimate taste enhancer – a shot of Amaretto liqueur. It was so yummmmmmyyyyyyy. I only had one due to the high caloric value. Light soy milk would be better. I might have some for breakfast, minus the liqueur.
Something I’ve been thinking about today. I’ve written before about my bad thoughts, thoughts that pop into my head and interfere with my thinking. Thoughts that I end up ruminating on, even though they came out of nowhere and aren’t worth spending 5 seconds on. My psychiatrist says this is OCD. So that is the perfect excuse, right? I’m not a bad person because I have these thoughts, I have OCD! A great excuse. Why aren’t I embracing this? Why would I rather think I’m a bad person, than be a person with a treatable, somewhat socially acceptable mental disorder? I’ve been thinking about that.
In the meantime, go get some of that tea. And some Amaretto.
OMG I LOVE SILK! I drink Vanilla Light every day!
Its wonderful to hear that you have a family and friends who care whether or not you join them. Well I suppose its a mixed blessing. I really enjoy being with people, but for every hour with people I require at least 2, if not 3 hours of solitude to recover.
Because I am an “I” who works very hard at performing as an “E” among people, they seem to think I’m looped when I detach.
My family is deceased, I didn’t grow up near the extended family, so we are naturally not close, and my friends are 500+ miles south of me. So, I can’t complain about not having down time these days.
Turning to your topic(between the Chai & Amaretto), I can spend a spance of time fending off the bad thoughts that leap into my mind from time to time.
But what type of “bad thoughts” fall into the OCD category?
Have you ever stood waiting for the light to change on a corner in traffic and get this urge to step off before the light changes?
Or have you stood on the platform waiting for the train and considered jumping just as it pulls towards you?
Spooky huh? Ask your psych if that’s OCD.
Those are seriously bad thoughts. Yes, those would be obsessive but are they really compulsive? OCD is a repetitious behavior brought on by a conflict of self-doubt striving for perfection. Is it not?
So, I’m wondering what nature of bad thoughts are being considering? Could it be a thought that maybe you think you did or said something which might have offended someone? If that’s it are the bad thoughts from you being upset with yourself because you may have made someone else feel ackward? Would that be OCD?
Maybe you don’t choose to go there, that’s okay. I was just curious how the psych was feeling bad thoughts led to the label of OCD.
Instead of TMI maybe this is TM?
:)
Enjoy the day!
Hmm. The thing about OCD, though, is that the person with OCD perceives their thoughts to be bad, whereas someone without OCD wouldn’t worry about the quality of their thoughts. (Everyone has them).
Actually any intrusive thought can be attached to OCD – it isn’t so much what you are thinking, but how you feel about it. So if you feel terrible and worry, then you might develop a compulsion to ‘fix’ the thought. The compulsion might even be another thought.
I was diagnosed with OCD years ago. The whole rumination thing is extraordinarily difficult to deal with. I’m a plethora of meds and it still plagues me.
1out1% – I’m sorry you aren’t able to spend time with friends and family. I think it’s important to have good relationships in your life. Maybe you can cultivate some new ones. As for the bad thoughts, yes, the ones you refer to first are the type of things I’m talking about. Some are even worse, and aren’t about me, but are about other people or animals. I can’t even write about them. My doctor says that is OCD. Have you read “The Imp of the Mind”? It’s all about this. OCD doesn’t have to be both obsessive and compulsive, it can be one or the other. And it’s not necessarily a behavior, it can be thoughts or feelings.
Laura – my psychiatrist prescribed me some medication for this, and I even filled the rx. But I won’t take it. I can’t stand the thought of taking any more meds for my “mental disorders”. And to think it might not even work, well it doesn’t seem like a chance I want to take considering all of the side effects I get from these meds.
mmm…sounds delicious.
I’ve been doing eggnog with a splash of spiced rum lately. but ammaretto sounds sooo good. maybe will need to do a latte with a shot of the ammaretto syrup they have in it.
Oh, Laura,
I’m so sorry to hear that you continue to be plagued by your obsessive thoughts. There was a period in my life that I had to actually go on meds for mine. They were self-deprecating, so I agreed to the drugs. The medications were so debilitating that they put me into bed because my ability to think was so numb there was nothing else I could do.
It is crazy how I got through it and was eventually able to go off the drugs.
If you are ever interested in hearing about it, I would be delighted to share.
Hang in there Laura, there is something else out there that genuinely cares more about you feeling better than you can even imagine.
The tea combo sounds tasty. I’m drinking Berryblossom White even as I write.
Yum re the tea. As for OCD, well I think I must have some of that (and not just to be fashionable!) Not as badly or humorously as Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets but I ruminate. A lot. But I don’t worry so much about the bad thoughts. They come. They go. Life moves on.