Happy first day of 2010 everyone. I hope you all had a pleasant New Year’s Eve. My husband and I went out to dinner and then we went to our friends’ house in the neighborhood. There were a few couples there and we drank (a lot) and had dessert and watched the ball drop on TV. I had a bit too much to drink, and didn’t feel well today. Luckily I had no plans for the day.
To update the therapy recap, yesterday I thought of another thing J and I talked about on Tuesday. He asked if I had an alarm system, and I said that I used to have one, but one night the alarm went off in the middle of the night and my husband ran downstairs to see what was wrong. After that I told him that it’s pointless to have an alarm system if he is going to go down and get shot. J said he doesn’t have an alarm system either, and he said I live in a safe neighborhood, I lock the doors, and I have a dog.
I have no idea why we had this conversation.
Yesterday I went to work for a client I’ve only had for a couple of months. In case you don’t know I work as a professional organizer/administrative assistant for people who own their own businesses and need help. I don’t do residential organizing. My new client found me through an organizing referral website that I joined a while ago. Most, actually all, of the calls I’ve gotten through this website have been people looking for residential organizing, which I specifically said I don’t do, but they call anyway. I got the impression that some of them were hoarders, and I don’t feel comfortable working with hoarders because I think they need professional therapeutic help rather than an organizer, and I don’t feel comfortable taking money to organize stuff they can’t get rid of.
So a couple of months ago I got an email with a referral from a woman who is about 45 minutes away from me, and it said she is a psychotherapist needing help with organizing her business. The email said to call her after 8PM. At about 4PM I got a call from her. I figured she was another dead end lead, but when I was talking to her I felt a connection. We talked briefly about her needs and set up an appointment to meet at a diner. I don’t normally like to travel that far for clients, but like I said I felt a connection. When we met and had coffee I definitely felt a bond with her. She said she was interviewing a few organizers, and wanted references and asked about a background check – all very understandable requests. I gave her three references. A couple of days later she emailed me and said she wanted to hire me, that she didn’t interview anyone else, but she felt comfortable with me. We set up a time for me to visit her at home. When I got there I asked if she had talked to my references and she said she hadn’t. I asked if she lost the paper that she had written their phone numbers on, and she said, “How did you know?” The first day that I was there she said she felt comfortable enough with me that she would trust me to be in her home alone, and she gave me a key.
I emailed her with the information on my references, and a few days later she told me that she got gushing reviews by email from them. They apparently raved about me, both as a person and as an organizer/assistant. I said, “Oh well they are very nice people” and she replied, “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”
As we worked together over these last few weeks I grew to like her more and more. We talked a bit, but mostly surface stuff. Of course I know more about her than she knows about me because I am working with all of her stuff. She tells me a bit about her life as a therapist, and I ask questions, without being too obvious because I haven’t told her that I am in therapy. Anything that has to do with her clients is off limits to me, which I respect. I work for another therapist, and she spills way too much information about her clients to me, which is particularly bad because we live in the same town and I know some of these people!
We were working together yesterday, going through three boxes of papers and files. I was there for 5 hours, and we took a half hour break to eat and have tea. At one point I asked her if she was familiar with the Myers Briggs test, which of course she is since she is a psychotherapist, and I asked her what type she is. I had a feeling she was similar to me, except I knew that she is a P and I am a J, and I didn’t really know her well enough to know if she is an I or an E. She asked me why I am interested (typical therapist comeback) and I said I was trying to figure out her type. She said she is an ENFP. I said, “I knew it! But I didn’t know if you are an I or and E.” I told her that I am an INFJ, and I recognized some similar characteristics in her, with a major exception being the P/J area.
During the day she said to me, “I really enjoy working with you, you are very easy to be with.” I thanked her and said I feel the same about her. Then I told her that from the first conversation I …. and I couldn’t say the right words. I actually said, “I knew you weren’t like some of the wacky people that have called me before” which isn’t what I wanted to say at all. I wanted to say, “I felt a connection to you, and I enjoy working with you, and I feel what you feel in regards to your environment and how you envision it.” I really need to improve my communication skills. I don’t normally make New Year’s Resolutions, but that could be a good one.
Tags: client, communication, connection, friends, husband, infj
January 2nd, 2010 at 2:15 am
It’s always nice when you meet someone and have a connection. I know with me in hindsight I can always have a better conversation with someone in my head. Sometimes I wonder why I said what I did.
On New Years Eve I ran my first race in years. I did better than I thought I would. Reading about your running has inspired me to start again.
Happy New Year.
January 2nd, 2010 at 3:37 am
You should be so proud of yourself for the work you do and the very positive reputation you’ve achieved. She’s right, you don’t give yourself enough credit.
January 2nd, 2010 at 4:47 am
I enjoyed reading the account of your interaction with the therapist / client. And you sound very organised! I also think that you can say that some clients are “wacky” if you do it with compassion and gentleness (both of which qualities you have). People are a bit wacky and some are hoarders and that’s why they need a little bit of help. Wishing you all the best for 2010!
January 2nd, 2010 at 1:48 pm
lostinamaze – congrats on the race! I’m so glad you’re running. Happy New Year to you too.
Laura – I’m going to start giving myself credit. As of yesterday.
Pete – I am very organized. I put my clothes in color order and organize my spices for fun. And I meant wacky with the utmost compassion, because who am I to judge how wacky someone is? Have a great 2010 to you also.